When someone asks you what you want from them, they’re likely seeking a genuine answer that can help define or clarify your relationship with them. This question might arise during an argument, a reflective moment, or when the other person is trying to appease you. While a serious response may seem appropriate, there’s no harm in injecting a bit of humor to lighten the mood.
During tense situations or arguments, offering a funny reply can help dissipate anger and tension. In this article, we’ll explore 25 hilarious responses you can give when someone asks, “What do you want from me?”
25 Funny Responses to What Do You Want from Me?
Here are 25 funny responses you can give when someone asks, “What do you want from me?”
1)Do You Want the Brutal Truth or a Nice Lie?
This cheeky response is perfect for those moments when you’re feeling a bit sassy. It playfully acknowledges the tension in the air while also hinting that you might have something juicy to say. Just be prepared for them to call your bluff!
Example:
Friend: “What do you want from me?” You: “Do you want the brutal truth or a nice lie?”
2)I Want You to Bring Me a Unicorn
Sometimes, the best way to respond to an absurd question is with an equally absurd answer. By requesting something completely outlandish, like a unicorn, you’re essentially highlighting the ridiculousness of the original question.
Example:
Coworker: “What do you want from me?”
You: “I want you to bring me a unicorn. Chop, chop!”
3)I Want the 90s Back
Responding with “I want the 90s back” is a nostalgic and humorous way to create a shared laugh with someone, especially an old friend. While it’s an impossible request, the absurdity of it is what makes it funny.
This response can be a sincere expression of longing for simpler times or a playful way to reminisce about shared experiences. It’s a great icebreaker that can lead to a trip down memory lane or a lighthearted conversation.
Example
“I want the 90s back. I miss those carefree days when we didn’t have to work.”
“I want the 90s back. Remember when we used to go fishing at the lake every weekend?”
4)Can’t This Wait Until After My Morning Coffee?
If you’re not a morning person, this response is a perfect way to buy yourself some time and maybe even score a free cup of joe. It’s a lighthearted way to acknowledge the question while also gently reminding the other person that you’re not quite functioning at full capacity yet.
Example:
Partner: “What do you want from me?”
You: “Can’t this wait until after my morning coffee? My brain needs a jump start.”
5)I Want World Peace and a Lifetime Supply of Chocolate
Why settle for a simple answer when you can go big? This response combines two universally desired things: world peace and an endless supply of chocolate. It’s a playful way to deflect the question while also reminding the other person that you have lofty (and delicious) goals.
Example:
Friend: “What do you want from me?”
You: “I want world peace and a lifetime supply of chocolate. Is that too much to ask?”
6)Honesty Would Be Nice for a Change
If you’re feeling a bit snarky and want to call out the other person’s potential lack of transparency, this response is for you. It’s a clever way to turn the question back on them while also hinting that you’re looking for a little more truthfulness in the relationship.
Example:
Coworker: “What do you want from me?”
You: “Honesty would be nice for a change.”
6)Do You Have a Few Hours?
This response is perfect for those situations where the answer is a bit too complicated to sum up in a few words. By asking if the other person has a few hours, you’re playfully implying that your wants and needs are too extensive to list quickly.
Example:
Partner: “What do you want from me?”
You: “Do you have a few hours? Because this could take a while.”
7)A Billion Dollars
Asking for “a billion dollars” is a classic funny response that can be used to tease friends or loved ones who are trying to appease you. It’s an exaggerated and unrealistic request that’s sure to elicit laughter.
The humor lies in the fact that most people don’t have access to such a large sum of money, or even if they did, they wouldn’t be willing to give it away. This response can be a playful way to end an argument or lighten the mood.
Example
“I just want one billion dollars. It’ll make me forgive you.”
“A billion dollars only.”
8)Your Unconditional Love and Devotion
For those moments when you want to really lay it on thick, this response is sure to get a laugh (or an eye roll). By requesting someone’s unconditional love and devotion, you’re taking the question to its most extreme (and humorous) conclusion.
Example:
Coworker: “What do you want from me?”
You: “Your unconditional love and devotion. Is that really too much to ask?”
9)I Just Want to Be Happy, Is That So Wrong?
This response is a great way to turn the tables and make the other person feel a bit guilty for their demanding tone. By expressing a simple desire for happiness, you’re reminding them that your wants and needs are really quite basic and reasonable.
Example:
Partner: “What do you want from me?”
You: “I just want to be happy. Is that so wrong?”
10)Can’t You Just Read My Mind?
Sometimes, the best way to respond to a frustrating question is with a bit of sarcasm. This response playfully calls out the other person’s lack of mind-reading abilities while also reminding them that you’re not always going to spell out your wants and needs.
Example:
Friend: “What do you want from me?”
You: “Can’t you just read my mind? I thought that was a basic human skill.”
How About We Start with a Massage?
If you’re feeling a bit flirtatious (or just really tense), this response is sure to get a chuckle. By suggesting a massage, you’re both deflecting the question and hinting at a more relaxing (and potentially romantic) alternative.
Example:
Partner: “What do you want from me?”
You: “How about we start with a massage? I think we could both use a little stress relief.”
11)I Want a Million Dollars and a Private Island
Why not go big or go home? This response is all about shooting for the stars (and maybe winning the lottery). By requesting a million dollars and a private island, you’re essentially highlighting the absurdity of the original question while also indulging in a little fantasy.
Example:
Coworker: “What do you want from me?”
You: “I want a million dollars and a private island. Can you make that happen?”
12)Can’t a Guy/Girl Just Dream?
This response is a great way to deflect the question while also reminding the other person that you’re allowed to have wants and desires, even if they seem a bit far-fetched. It’s a playful way to acknowledge the tension while also keeping things light.
Example:
Friend: “What do you want from me?” You: “Can’t a guy/girl just dream?”
13)I Want a Time Machine to Go Back and Unsay That
If you’ve ever said something you immediately regretted, this response is for you. By requesting a time machine, you’re both acknowledging the awkwardness of the situation and suggesting a humorous way to undo the offending question.
Example:
Partner: “What do you want from me?”
You: “I want a time machine to go back and unsay that.”
14)Wouldn’t You Like to Know?
Sometimes, a little mystery is the best response. This playful retort is a great way to keep the other person guessing while also maintaining a sense of control over the situation. Just don’t be surprised if they press you for more details!
Example:
Coworker: “What do you want from me?”
You: “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
15)I Want a Refund on This Relationship
If you’re feeling a bit sassy and want to call out the other person’s behavior, this response is sure to get their attention. By suggesting a refund, you’re both acknowledging the frustration in the relationship and hinting that you might be looking for a way out.
Example:
Partner: “What do you want from me?”
You: “I want a refund on this relationship. Where’s the customer service desk?”
16)Can We Just Fast-Forward to the Part Where You Do What I Want?
This response is all about cutting to the chase. By suggesting a fast-forward, you’re both acknowledging the tension in the situation and implying that you’d prefer to skip the back-and-forth and just get to the part where your wants and needs are met.
Example:
Friend: “What do you want from me?”
You: “Can we just fast-forward to the part where you do what I want?”
17)I Want a Pause Button for Life
If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed and in need of a break, this response is the perfect way to express that sentiment. By requesting a pause button for life, you’re both acknowledging the chaos of the situation and suggesting a humorous (albeit unrealistic) solution.
Example:
Coworker: “What do you want from me?”
You: “I want a pause button for life. Just a little break would be nice.”
18)I Want a Rewind Button for That Last Conversation
We’ve all had those moments where we say something we immediately regret. This response is a humorous way to acknowledge that you wish you could take back whatever you just said or did that led to the frustrating “What do you want from me?” question.
Example:
Friend: “What do you want from me?”
You: “I want a rewind button for that last conversation. Can we start over?”
19)Patience, Grasshopper
If you’re in a playful mood and want to inject a bit of humor into the situation, this response is a fun way to do it. By referring to the other person as “grasshopper” and suggesting they need to practice patience, you’re both deflecting the question and reminding them to take things a bit more lightly.
Example:
Coworker: “What do you want from me?”
You: “Patience, grasshopper. Patience is what I want from you.”
20)I Want a Magic Wand to Make All My Problems Disappear
Who hasn’t wished for a magic wand at some point in their life? This response is a whimsical way to acknowledge that you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed and in need of a quick fix. Of course, the other person is unlikely to actually produce a magic wand, but that’s part of the humor.
Example:
Partner: “What do you want from me?”
You: “I want a magic wand to make all my problems disappear. Can you conjure one up for me?”
21)I Want a Pause on All This Adulting
Adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a break. This response is a relatable way to express that sentiment while also injecting a bit of humor into the situation. It’s a playful way to acknowledge that you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed and in need of a break from all the responsibilities of being a grown-up.
Example:
Friend: “What do you want from me?”
You: “I want a pause on all this adulting. Can we just go back to being kids for a little while?”
22)I Want a Time-Turner Like Hermione Had in Harry Potter
For all the Harry Potter fans out there, this response is sure to get a chuckle. By referencing the time-turner device that allowed Hermione to attend multiple classes at once, you’re both acknowledging the absurdity of the question and suggesting a fantastical solution straight out of the wizarding world.
Example:
Coworker: “What do you want from me?”
You: “I want a time-turner like Hermione had in Harry Potter. That way, I could get everything done and still have time for a nap.”
23)Can You Just Give Me What I Want, Please?
Sometimes, the best response is to simply (and playfully) ask for what you want. This tongue-in-cheek question is a humorous way to acknowledge the original query while also hinting that you’d really just like the other person to comply with your wishes, whatever they may be.
Example:
Partner: “What do you want from me?”
You: “Can you just give me what I want, please?”
24)A Trip to Your Heart
Responding with “a trip to your heart” is a playful and romantic way to express your feelings towards someone you like or have a crush on. When they ask you what you want, this response can keep them guessing about whether you’re being serious or not, while also adding a touch of humor.
This response is a great way to flirt and potentially open up a deeper conversation about your feelings for the other person. It’s a lighthearted and slightly cheesy line that can be endearing and amusing at the same time.
Example
“A trip to your heart. That’s where I should be.”
“A trip to your heart, let me feel the beat.”
25)You Can’t Afford It
“You can’t afford it” is an amusing response that can be used to playfully tease your friends when they’re trying to figure out how to make you happy. This response implies that whatever it is you want is too expensive or out of their reach, which is the source of the humor.
Delivered in a lighthearted tone, this response is likely to cause some laughter and potentially end an argument or tense situation. It’s a playful way to challenge your friends while also injecting some humor into the conversation.
Example
“You can’t afford it. So, don’t bother, dear.”
“You can’t afford it. It’s something huge.”
Conclusion
When faced with a tense or awkward situation, sometimes the best response is a touch of humor. By injecting some levity and absurdity into the conversation, you can potentially diffuse the tension and shift the dynamic to a more lighthearted and enjoyable one.
Remember, laughter is the best medicine, and these 25 funny responses are sure to elicit a few chuckles and hopefully make the question “What do you want from me?” a little less daunting to answer.
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