25 Hilarious Ways to Ask Your Parents for Money (Like a Pro!)

Hey there, fellow broke kid! You know the drill—rent’s due, your bank account’s looking sadder than a basset hound’s face, and you’re down to your last pack of ramen. Time to hit up the ‘rents for some extra dough, am I right?

But here’s the thing: you can’t just go asking for money all willy-nilly. Nah, you gotta have a solid excuse locked and loaded. Something that’ll tug on their heartstrings (or at least their wallet strings). Lucky for you, I’ve been around the block a time or two, and I’ve picked up some tried-and-true tactics along the way.

So grab a pen and take some notes, my young padawan. You’re about to become a master of the art of parental persuasion. Here are 25 foolproof excuses to guilt your folks into forking over some cash:

Best Excuses To Ask For Money From Parents

1. “I need money for textbooks.”

This one’s a classic for a reason. What parent can say no to investing in their kid’s education? Just don’t mention that you’re planning to use the leftover cash for beer money.

2. “I’m saving up for a down payment on a house.”

Hey, it could happen! At least this way, they’ll think you’re being responsible with your money. Even if your idea of a “house” is more like a van down by the river.

3. “I’m donating to a worthy cause.”

Pull at those philanthropic heartstrings! Bonus points if you can actually name a real charity. Just try to keep a straight face when you tell ’em how you “donated” to the noble cause of taco Tuesday.

4. “I need to buy a new interview outfit.”

Nothing says “hire me” like a crisp button-down and some slacks, right? Never mind that the only thing you’re interviewing for is a spot on your buddy’s couch for a Netflix marathon.

5. “I have to pay my student loans.”

Ah, student loans. The gift that keeps on taking. This one’s sure to get a sympathetic nod from your folks. Just don’t let on that you’re planning to use the money to buy a fancy new gaming rig instead.

6. “I need to register my car.”

Responsible adulting for the win! Of course, what you don’t mention is that you actually need the money to buy a new subwoofer system. Priorities, am I right?

7. “I’m investing in a startup.”

Look at you, ya little entrepreneur! Your parents will be so proud. Just hope they don’t ask too many questions about your “business plan.” (Hint: it mostly involves napping).

8. “I need to buy a bus pass.”

Eco-friendly AND financially savvy? You’re practically a superhero. No need to mention that the only place you’re planning to “bus” to is the beach.

9. “I have to pay for a certification course.”

Hey, professional development is important! Your parents will be thrilled to hear you’re investing in your future. Just don’t tell ’em that the only thing you’re certified in is binge-watching “The Office.”

10. “I need to fix my laptop.”

In today’s digital age, a working computer is practically a necessity. Your parents won’t think twice about shelling out for some repairs. Just make sure you have a good poker face when they ask why your “repairs” cost the same as a brand new MacBook Pro.

11. “I’m saving up for a trip.”

Travel is SO educational, right? Your parents will be all about supporting your wanderlust. Just don’t mention that your idea of a “cultural experience” is hitting up the swim-up bar in Cancun.

12. “I need to pay for a gym membership.”

Health is wealth, baby! Your parents will be thrilled to hear you’re taking care of yourself. No need to tell ’em that the only thing you’re planning to lift is a slice of pizza.

13. “I have to buy a bridesmaid dress.”

Weddings ain’t cheap, yo. Your parents will totally understand the need to shell out for your bestie’s big day. Just hope they don’t ask to see pictures of you in the dress. (Spoiler alert: there is no dress).

14. “I’m taking a cooking class.”

Look at you, getting all domestic and stuff! Your parents will be so impressed. Just don’t tell ’em that your idea of “cooking” is microwaving a Hot Pocket.

15. “I need to buy a new suit for a funeral.”

Okay, so this one’s a little dark. But hey, desperate times call for desperate measures. Just try to look appropriately somber when you hit ’em up for the cash.

16. “I’m investing in a retirement fund.”

Talk about planning for the future! Your parents will be all sorts of proud. No need to mention that your idea of “retirement” is more like a week-long Netflix binge.

17. “I have to pay for a parking pass.”

Adulting ain’t easy, is it? Your parents will totally get it. Just don’t tell ’em that you’re only parking in your buddy’s driveway.

18. “I need to buy a new phone.”

In today’s world, a working phone is practically a basic human right. Your parents won’t hesitate to help you out. Just don’t let on that you’re only upgrading so you can take better selfies.

19. “I’m starting a side hustle.”

Entrepreneurship for the win! Your parents will be thrilled to hear you’re being proactive about your finances. Just hope they don’t ask too many questions about your “business model.” (Hint: it mostly involves selling your old junk on eBay).

20. “I need to pay for a tutor.”

Hey, academic success is important! Your parents will be there to support your studies. No need to mention that your “tutor” is actually just your buddy who’s good at math.

21. “I’m taking a self-defense class.”

Safety first, right? Your parents will be relieved to hear you’re taking precautions. Just don’t tell ’em that your idea of “self-defense” is more like learning how to dodge responsibility.

22. “I have to buy a new backpack.”

A sturdy backpack is a must-have for any student or young professional. Your parents won’t think twice about helping you out. Just don’t let on that you’re only using it to smuggle snacks into the movies.

23. “I’m saving up for a down payment on a car.”

Now THAT’s some responsible financial planning! Your parents will be so proud. No need to mention that your idea of a “car” is more like a Razor scooter.

24. “I need to pay for a dental procedure.”

Dental health is no joke, my friend. Your parents will totally understand the need to shell out for some quality chompers. Just try to keep a straight face when you tell ’em how you “chipped a tooth” on a particularly crunchy Dorito.

25. “I’m investing in my personal growth.”

Ooh, look at you getting all introspective and stuff! Your parents will be thrilled to hear you’re focusing on self-improvement. Just don’t tell ’em that your idea of “personal growth” is binge-watching self-help videos on YouTube.

Conclusion

So there you have it, folks—25 foolproof excuses to guilt your parents into giving you some cold, hard cash. Use ’em wisely, use ’em often, and above all else, use ’em with a smile.

And hey, if all else fails, just remember: you can always fall back on the tried-and-true method of begging. It’s not pretty, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go hit up my own parents for some “textbook money.” Wish me luck!