55 Great Answers to What Are You Up To Tonight Text

It’s 7pm on a Friday night. Your phone buzzes with a new text from your crush: “Hey, what are you up to tonight?”

Your mind races as you try to craft the perfect response. Something flirty but not too forward. Clever but not trying too hard. Fun but not juvenile.

We’ve all been there, staring at that blinking cursor, wondering how to keep the conversation engaging without resorting to the same old boring “not much, you?” replies.

Fear not! I’m here to save you from the dreadful “one-word response” black hole and arm you with dozens of witty comebacks that’ll spark a lively back-and-forth.

Whether you’re in the mood for playful banter, a casual hangout, or even a spontaneous adventure, these 55 answers to “What are you up to tonight?” will help you navigate the digital flirting game like a pro.

55 Great Answers to What Are You Up To Tonight Text

1. “Oh, you know, just solving world hunger. Might take a quick break to work on my Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech.”

See what I did there? Inject a little humor and suddenly you’ve gone from zero to hero in the span of a text.

It’s a great way to keep things light and playful, especially if you’re texting with someone you’re just getting to know.

2. “Finally catching up on my sleep after binge-watching insert latest Netflix obsession here all weekend.”

Relatable, right? We’ve all fallen down that rabbit hole of “just one more episode” until suddenly it’s 3am on a Sunday.

Sharing a common experience like this is a great way to bond over text and show that you’re a real person, not just a screen.

3. “Oh, I’m just at the gym. Figured I’d do some light cardio, maybe a couple hundred push-ups, and then deadlift a small car. You know, the usual.”

Again with the humor, but this time we’re playing off the ‘humble brag’.

It’s a great way to show that you don’t take yourself too seriously and can laugh at yourself. Plus, who doesn’t love a good gym joke?

4. “Trying out a new recipe! If you don’t hear from me in a few hours, you’ll know it was either a total disaster or I’ve ascended to culinary heaven.”

Okay, so maybe you’re not actually trying out a new recipe. But the point is, it’s a relatable scenario that most people can picture.

It also leaves the door open for further conversation – maybe they’ll ask what you’re making, or share their own kitchen misadventures.

5. “Just writing the next great American novel. It’s about a plucky young protagonist who… wait, I can’t give away all my secrets!”

A little mystery, a little humor, a lot of personality. This response shows that you’ve got depth (you’re a writer!) but also that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

It’s an intriguing answer that’s sure to pique their interest.

6. “Reorganizing my sock drawer. It’s a thrilling Friday night over here, let me tell you.”

Ah, the ‘I’m not doing anything exciting’ response with a twist of humor. We’ve all had those nights where we’re just puttering around the house, and there’s no shame in that.

But this response makes it sound much more entertaining than it probably is, which is half the fun.

7. “Training for my future career as a professional dog walker. These puppies aren’t going to walk themselves!”

Who doesn’t love puppies? This response is equal parts adorable and absurd, which is what makes it so great. It’s just nonsensical enough to get a laugh, but it also paints a cute mental picture.

8. “Teaching myself how to juggle. I figure it’s a skill that will come in handy… at some point. Right?”

Learning a new (and kind of random) skill is always a great conversation starter. This response shows that you’ve got diverse interests and aren’t afraid to try new things, even if they’re a bit out there.

Plus, it opens the door for some playful back-and-forth about the merits of juggling.

9. “Oh, you know, just practicing my evil villain laugh for when I take over the world. Mwahaha!”

A little silly, a little dark, a lot of fun. This response plays with the idea of having a secret identity, which is always an intriguing concept. It also showcases your sense of humor and imagination.

10. “Just getting ready for my big date tonight… with my couch and a pint of ice cream. It’s getting pretty serious.”

We’ve all had those nights where the only date we’re interested in is with our favorite pint of Ben & Jerry’s.

This response is relatable and self-deprecating in a way that’s sure to get a chuckle. It’s also a great way to subtly hint that you’re single if that’s something you’re trying to convey.

11. “Conducting a very scientific experiment to determine how many episodes of insert show here I can watch before my eyes start to glaze over.”

Binge-watching is practically a national pastime at this point, so this response is sure to strike a chord.

It’s also a great way to share your current TV obsession and maybe even get a recommendation or two in return.

12. “Perfecting my air guitar skills. I’m telling you, I’m this close to going pro.”

Silly? Yes. Fun? Absolutely. This response showcases your playful side and your willingness to lean into the absurd.

It’s also a great way to show that you don’t take yourself too seriously, which is always an attractive quality.

13. “Just working on my standup comedy routine. Want to hear a joke?”

Whether you actually have a standup routine or not, this response is a great way to show off your sense of humor. And if you do have a joke or two up your sleeve, even better! Just be prepared to deliver if they say yes.

14. “Trying to beat my high score in an insert video game here. I swear, this game is rigged.”

Gaming is a huge part of many people’s lives, so this response is sure to resonate with a lot of folks. It’s also a great way to bond over a shared interest or even spark a friendly competition.

15. “Oh, just catching up on some light reading. You know, War and Peace, The Brothers Karamazov, the usual.”

The juxtaposition of ‘light reading’ with some of the heftiest tomes in literature is what makes this response so funny. It’s a great way to show off your intellect and your sense of humor at the same time.

16. “Practicing my magic tricks. I’d make myself disappear, but then who would feed the cat?”

Magic is inherently intriguing, so this response is sure to pique their interest. The added bit about the cat is just the right amount of silly to keep things light and playful.

17. “Trying to teach my dog how to play poker. So far, he’s better at Go Fish.”

Anthropomorphizing pets is always a surefire way to get a laugh. This response is just absurd enough to be funny, but not so out there that it’s unrelatable. Plus, who doesn’t love a good dog joke?

18. “Organizing my book collection… by color. I know, I’m a rebel.”

This response plays with the idea of being unconventional in a very mundane way, which is what makes it so funny. It’s also a great way to show off your quirky side and your love of books at the same time.

19. “Perfecting my origami skills. I’m currently working on a life-size paper elephant. No big deal.”

Origami is one of those hobbies that’s both impressive and a little bit niche, which makes it perfect for this kind of response. The absurdity of a life-size paper elephant just adds to the humor.

20. “Oh, just brushing up on my quantum physics. You know, light bedtime reading.”

Similar to the War and Peace response, this one plays with the idea of ‘light reading’ being something incredibly dense and complex. It’s a great way to show off your brainpower while also being self-deprecating.

21. “Just getting in touch with my inner zen. Om… sorry, what was the question?”

Poking fun at the idea of meditation and mindfulness is always a good time. This response shows that you don’t take yourself too seriously and that you’re not afraid to be a little bit silly.

22. “Trying to set a world record for the most Netflix shows watched in a single sitting. I think I’m close, but I might need a few more seasons of insert show here.”

Another play on the binge-watching theme, but this time with a competitive twist. This response is relatable, funny, and a great way to share your current TV obsession.

23. “Learning how to knit. I figure if I start now, I might have a scarf ready by next winter. Maybe.”

Knitting is one of those hobbies that’s often associated with grandmas, which is what makes this response so funny.

It’s also a great way to show that you’re willing to try new things, even if you’re not exactly a natural.

24. “Perfecting my air drumming skills. I’m pretty sure I could give Neil Peart a run for his money… in my dreams.”

Similar to the air guitar response, this one is all about embracing the absurd. It’s also a great way to show off your music knowledge and your sense of humor at the same time.

25. “Oh, just working on my telepathic powers. I’m trying to convince my dog to bring me a snack using only my mind. No luck so far.”

The idea of telepathic communication with pets is inherently funny, which is what makes this response so great. It’s also a great way to show off your imagination and your love of animals.

26. “Trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube… from 1982. I think some of the stickers are missing.”

The specificity of the year and the missing stickers is what makes this response so funny. It’s also a great way to show that you’re not afraid to tackle a challenge, even if it’s a little bit absurd.

27. “Learning how to juggle chainsaws. I figured it would be a useful skill to have… for reasons.”

The absurdity of juggling chainsaws is what makes this response so great. It’s also a great way to show off your daring side and your willingness to try new (and slightly dangerous) things.

28. “Perfecting my bird call impressions. So far, I’ve got the pigeon down pat. The toucan, not so much.”

Bird calls are one of those niche skills that are both impressive and a little bit odd, which makes them perfect for this kind of response. The specificity of the pigeon and the toucan just adds to the humor.

29. “Teaching myself how to read tarot cards. So far, all I’m getting is ‘you will eat pizza soon.’ I think I might be doing it wrong.”

Tarot reading is one of those practices that’s often associated with mysticism and the occult, which makes it ripe for a bit of gentle ribbing. The pizza prediction just adds to the absurdity.

30. “Trying to beat my record for the most marshmallows I can fit in my mouth. I think I’m up to 25, but I might need to do some more ‘research.'”

The idea of competitive marshmallow eating is inherently funny, which is what makes this response so great. It’s also a great way to show off your playful side and your willingness to embrace the ridiculous.

31. “Learning how to do a handstand. So far, I’ve mastered the faceplant. Progress!”

The juxtaposition of the handstand and the faceplant is what makes this response so funny. It’s also a great way to show that you’re not afraid to laugh at yourself and your own foibles.

32. “Perfecting my impression of a T-Rex trying to make a bed. It’s a very specific skill, but I think it’ll come in handy someday.”

The absurdity of a T-Rex making a bed is what makes this response so great. It’s also a great way to show off your imagination and your sense of humor.

33. “Trying to teach myself how to play the harmonica. So far, I sound like a train whistle with a head cold.”

The idea of a harmonica sounding like a sick train whistle is just the right amount of absurd to be funny. It’s also a great way to show that you’re willing to try new things, even if you’re not exactly a natural.

34. “Oh, just practicing my ninja moves. You never know when you’ll need to disappear into the shadows… or the snack aisle at the grocery store.”

The idea of using ninja moves for snack-related stealth is inherently funny. This response shows off your playful side and your love of snacks at the same time.

35. “Trying to teach myself Morse code. I figure it’s a useful skill to have in case I ever get stuck on a deserted island with only a flashlight.”

The specificity of the deserted island and the flashlight is what makes this response so funny. It’s also a great way to show that you’re always thinking ahead, even if it’s in a slightly absurd way.

36. “Learning how to do a cartwheel. I’m pretty sure I’m defying gravity… and possibly a few laws of physics.”

The idea of defying gravity and physics with a cartwheel is just the right amount of silly to be funny. It’s also a great way to show that you’re not afraid to try new things, even if you’re not exactly graceful.

37. “Perfecting my British accent. I think I’m ready for my role in the next James Bond movie… as an extra in the background.”

The specificity of being an extra in a James Bond movie is what makes this response so funny. It’s also a great way to show off your love of movies and your sense of humor at the same time.

38. “Trying to teach myself how to juggle fire. I figure it’s a useful skill to have… for reasons.”

Similar to the chainsaw juggling response, this one plays with the idea of learning a dangerous and somewhat useless skill. It’s a great way to show off your daring side and your sense of humor.

39. “Oh, just practicing my interpretive dance moves. I call this one ‘The Grocery Store Shuffle.'”

The idea of an interpretive dance about grocery shopping is inherently funny. This response shows off your creative side and your willingness to embrace the absurd.

40. “Learning how to do a backflip. So far, I’ve mastered the art of landing on my face with style.”

The juxtaposition of a backflip and a faceplant is what makes this response so funny. It’s also a great way to show that you’re not afraid to laugh at yourself and your own mishaps.

41. “Trying to beat my record for the most pizza slices eaten in one sitting. I think I’m up to 12, but I might need to loosen my belt a notch or two.”

The idea of competitive pizza eating is both relatable and a little bit absurd, which is what makes this response so great. It’s also a great way to show off your love of pizza and your sense of humor at the same time.

42. “Perfecting my impression of a cat trying to use a computer. It involves a lot of random key smashing and frustrated meowing.”

The mental image of a cat trying to type is inherently funny. This response shows off your imagination and your love of animals in a playful way.

43. “Teaching myself how to do a handstand… against a wall. Baby steps, right?”

The idea of doing a handstand with the help of a wall is a relatable way to show that you’re willing to try new things, even if you need a little support. It’s also a great way to poke fun at your own skill level.

44. “Oh, just practicing my ventriloquism. So far, I can make it look like my hand is arguing with my foot. It’s a work in progress.”

The absurdity of a hand arguing with a foot is what makes this response so funny. It’s also a great way to show off your silly side and your willingness to embrace the ridiculous.

45. “Trying to teach myself how to play the ukulele. I think I’m ready for my beachside serenade… if the beach is deserted and no one can hear me.”

The specificity of the deserted beach is what makes this response so funny. It’s also a great way to show that you’re willing to try new things, even if you’re not quite ready for an audience.

46. “Learning how to do a magic trick where I pull a rabbit out of a hat. So far, I’ve only managed to pull out a very confused-looking sock.”

The idea of pulling a sock out of a hat instead of a rabbit is just the right amount of absurd to be funny. It’s also a great way to show that you’re not afraid to laugh at your own mistakes.

47. “Perfecting my impression of a dog trying to howl along to a siren. It’s a very specific skill, but I think it’ll come in handy someday.”

The mental image of a dog howling off-key is inherently funny. This response shows off your playful side and your love of animals in a creative way.

48. “Trying to teach myself how to juggle… with my feet. I figure it’s a useful skill to have in case my hands are ever ull. You know, from all the snacks I’ll be holding.”

The idea of juggling with your feet to keep your hands free for snacks is both absurd and relatable. It’s a great way to show off your sense of humor and your love of snacks at the same time.

49. “Oh, just practicing my mime skills. I think I’ve perfected the ‘trapped in an invisible box’ routine. Next up: walking against the wind!”

Miming is one of those skills that’s often seen as a bit silly, which makes it perfect for this kind of playful response. The specificity of the ‘trapped in a box’ and ‘walking against the wind’ routines just adds to the humor.

50. “Learning how to do a cartwheel… underwater. I’m pretty sure I’m part mermaid, part acrobat.”

The absurdity of doing a cartwheel underwater is what makes this response so funny. It’s also a great way to show off your imaginative side and your willingness to embrace the ridiculous.

51. “Trying to beat my record for the most ice cream scoops balanced on a single cone. I think I’m up to 7, but I might need a taller cone… and a steadier hand.”

The idea of competitive ice cream stacking is both whimsical and a little bit absurd, which is what makes this response so great. It’s also a great way to show off your playful side and your love of ice cream.

52. “Perfecting my impression of a squirrel trying to carry a nut that’s just a little too big. It involves a lot of scampering and frustrated chittering.”

The mental image of a squirrel struggling with an oversized nut is inherently funny. This response shows off your imagination and your appreciation for the silly things in life.

53. “Teaching myself how to do a handstand… while holding a pizza. I figure it’s a useful skill to have in case I ever need to impress a room full of acrobatic pizza lovers.”

The specificity of impressing acrobatic pizza lovers is what makes this response so funny. It’s also a great way to show off your silly side and your love of pizza at the same time.

54. “Oh, just practicing my beatboxing skills. I think I’ve mastered the art of making laser sounds with my mouth. Pew pew!”

Beatboxing is one of those skills that’s both impressive and a little bit goofy, which makes it perfect for this kind of playful response. The addition of laser sounds just ups the silly factor.

55. “Trying to teach myself how to do a backflip… on a trampoline. I figure it’s like regular backflipping, just bouncier. What could go wrong?”

The idea of learning to backflip on a trampoline is both relatable (who hasn’t wanted to do that?) and a little bit daring. The rhetorical “What could go wrong?” just adds to the playful, risk-taking tone.

Tips to Keep the Conversation Flowing

Now that you’ve kicked things off with a strong opening, here are some general guidelines to keep in mind as you volley your way to textual bliss:

• Ask open-ended questions that invite them to share more than just yes/no answers. “What did you think of that new Netflix show?” vs. “Did you like the show?”
• Sprinkle in emojis, GIFs and memes to add visual interest and humor. A well-timed GIF can be worth a thousand words. Just don’t overdo it – a little goes a long way.
• Use their name occasionally to create a sense of intimacy and connection. “I bet you’d love this band, Sarah!” feels more personal than “I bet you’d love this band!”
• Reference past jokes and topics to create a sense of shared history and inside jokes. “OMG, I just passed that sushi place we were talking about. Made me think of you!”
• Balance asking and offering info so it doesn’t feel like an interrogation. Share your own stories, opinions, and jokes too. Conversations are a two-way street!
• Don’t overthink it. If there’s a lull, that’s OK. Better to let it breathe than force it. Quality exchanges beat rapid-fire blather. Patience, grasshopper.

With these witty answers and smooth strategies up your sleeve, you’ll be navigating those “what are you up to tonight?” landmines like a champ in no time. So go forth with confidence and charm, you digital Casanova, and may the textual odds be ever in your favor!

Conclusion

And there you have it, folks! 55 silly, playful, and utterly absurd responses to the age-old question, “What are you up to tonight?” Whether you’re looking to make someone laugh, start a fun conversation, or just embrace your own inner goofball, these responses are sure to do the trick.

Just remember, the key to pulling off any of these is confidence and commitment. If you’re going to tell someone you’re practicing your impression of a squirrel, you better be ready to give it your all. And if you do end up mastering the art of underwater cartwheeling or ice cream stacking, be sure to send us a video. We’d love to see it.

But most importantly, have fun with it! Life’s too short to always give serious, straightforward answers. Sometimes, the best response is the one that makes you (and the person you’re texting) laugh out loud. So go forth and be silly, my friends. And may your conversations be filled with laughter, absurdity, and maybe even a few successful backflips.